So Mom and I were talking this morning during my commute about the end of the world...

...what with the temperatures rising, and in light of this spate of quakes we here in the 'Fornia are experiencing. In the middle of our conversation, I spotted a little Jewish man (I know 'cause he sported a yarmulke) walking down Crescent Heights, a plastic bag from the 99-Cent Store in one hand and a huge green parrot perched on the other. And this was hours before the latest e-quake, this afternoon at 1:54pm, which shook me while I was eating grilled salmon from the Kosher Fish Grill on Beverly Blvd. (which has now disagreed with my stomach), and answering B's e-mail about a really bad skateboarding movie. Portentious times, indeed.

Mom, who was raised Southern Baptist in North Carolina, but "got the hell out" when she was 18, brought up the Biblical end-of-the-world prophesy -- not that she buys it. Neither of us could recall the prophet; once the ground settled from the 4.9, I Googled "end of the world bible" (which is, after all, why God made the Internet) and found this:

Isaiah Chapter 24

The Lord is going to devastate the earth and leave it desolate. He will twist the earth's surface and scatter its people.

Everyone will meet the same fate-the priests and the people, slaves and masters, buyers and sellers, lenders and borrowers, rich and poor. The earth will lie shattered and ruined. The Lord has spoken and it will be done.

The earth dries up and withers; the whole world grows weak; both earth and sky decay.

The people have defiled the earth by breaking God's laws.

So God has pronounced a curse on the earth. Its people are paying for what they have done. Fewer and fewer remain alive.

The grapevines wither, and wine is becoming scarce. Everyone who was once happy is now sad,

and the joyful music of their harps and drums has ceased.

There is no more happy singing over wine; no one enjoys its taste any more.

In the city everything is in chaos, and people lock themselves in their houses for safety.

People shout in the streets because there is no more wine. Happiness is gone forever; it has been banished from the land.

The city is in ruins, and its gates have been broken down.

As the little Jewish man's huge green parrot might say: Oy; we are so fucked.