"You don't know what it's like/To love somebody/The way I love you." -Barry Gibb

How long does it take to heal from a broken heart? Should the recovery time be commensurate with the length of the relationship? If so, what might the formula be? A month for every year? Given that ratio, if one has been in various states of love with the same person for, say, 15 years, it should take approximately a year and 3 months -- give or take a couple of weeks -- to complete the stages of grief attendant to such a loss.

There are a few rules that should be strictly adhered to during the healing period:

Friends should not comment adversely on the bursts of tears or the late-night phone calls or the wanton eating of Cheetos (or the inevitable weight gain) by the heartbroken at any point during this period.

Any subsequent romantic, or potentially romantic, relationships should be held at bay by the heartbroken until thorough healing has been accomplished.

Suffering beyond the healing period is optional...but definitely gratuitous. Masochism, however masked, is generally unattractive. Martyrdom, however, has certain appeal -- with the right wardrobe.